Beer not included. (Image credit: Golden Groundhog)
Octavian “Kripparian” Morosan has never fit the traditional mould of Twitch streamer. Not for him the constant shouts of “LET’S GOOOO!” or high school drama with rival channels. You are unlikely to find him broadcasting from a hot tub. Instead, the 34-year-old Canadian has built one of the platform’s biggest audiences with nightly Hearthstone streams—plus a bit of Path of Exile thrown in, presumably to preserve his sanity. His viewers relish his mix of dry humour and none-more-salty complaints about the vagaries of card game RNG.
So I suppose, on some strange level, it actually makes sense that Kripp has eschewed a sponsorship with one of those luridly-coloured, heavily-caffeinated powdered gamer drinks and has instead launched his own brand of artisanal mustard.
Kripparrian’s Spicy Pretzel Mustard is currently on sale at Amazon for the not inconsiderable price of $19.99. Battlegrounds players will of course immediately get the reference to one of the mode’s hardest achievements: “Spicy Pretzel Mustard” is awarded only to those who finish a game in 1st place whilst also winning every single round. Let the record state, I do not have this achievement, having to settle instead for the easier version, “Pretzel Mustard,” which requires winning a game without losing any rounds.
You can watch Kripp earning the achievement for the first time below, which he reacts to in typically understated style.
As for the actual IRL condiment, the blurb reads thus: “Kripparrian’s Spicy Pretzel Mustard is created using horseradish roots that are trimmed, chopped and peeled by hand. Once peeled, the horseradish is put through a grinder one chunk at a time.” It’s unclear exactly who’s responsible for making the mustard, though I think it safe to assume that these roots are not being tended to by the great man himself.
I am somewhat reassured by the knowledge that the recipe has previously been “inducted into the Mustard Hall of Fame in Middleton, Wisconsin.” I have no idea how highly that ranks as an accolade, but sitting here re-reading the description is making me hungry in a way that Razer’s Respawn chewing gum never has.
Needless to say, the sauce is vegan-approved, what with Kripp being a an avowed non-meat eater. In the interests of thorough journalism, I shall now expense a jar and report back in the comments once it arrives. In the meantime, Kripp can be found serving well-seasoned takes on statistical probability over at Twitch and YouTube.
No animals were harmed in the making of this mustard. (Image credit: Golden Groundhog)
